Make your own free website on Tripod.com
 
The Cat! 
 
"Put a drill on the end of it and I can make it through WALLS, boy!"
The Cat
 
           Ah yes, the Cat...  Who could forget that epitome of catliness; the purveyor of good taste and style; and the one who carried around his own scent in squeeze bottles for marking his territory?  No one with eyes in their head (or even out of them...)!

          The final known specimen of Felis Sapiens was descended from Frankenstein, the cat Lister had smuggled aboard the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel Red Dwarf in order to get imprisoned in a stasis field for breaking quarantine  (reasoning that 2 years that felt like an instant was much better than having to live through them while  Red Dwarf made its way back to Earth - where he intended to jump ship).  This heavily pregnant cat, whom Lister had safely hidden in the hold, was the only other survivor of the core breach.
    Safely hidden in the hold, the kittens she bore went on to become the progenitors of a race of bi-pedal, intelligent (well, mostly?) cats... who over the two million years Lister remained in stasis  found religion (of course), warred over it and left the ship in two separate parties in search of the Promised Land of Fuchal (actually Fiji, where Lister had told Frankenstein he was going to build a farm - or open a hotdog stand - despite the fact it was under a meter of water owing to global warming!).

          The only ones left behind were the sick and the handicapped.  It is assumed that two of them, one an idiot, the other a cripple, huddled together for warmth...

          This was the result.
 

Awwww, the Cat again!
            Wouldn't you want that curled up by your fireplace?

           Never seeing the need for a name, "knowing" he's instantly unforgettable, this is ego on legs, folks!  A wardrobe that goes on into forever - all hand tongue washed, of course, this kitty would literally rather die than be seen in the same outfit more than once...  An incredible sense of smell that can spot "orange swirly things" in space ahead of them that makes his piloting near perfect (though how it hasn't atrophied under abuse from Lister's sock basket, I have no idea)...  And infinite epithets to call Rimmer by - my favourite being "Trans-Am Wheel Arch Nostrils"!
 

 
The Before - Mr Suave...
 
          In alternate dimensions, the Cat has been seen as a priest and the Dog (quite a shock to the Cat's delicate sensibilities, let me tell you!).  In "this" dimension, however, the most shocking thing that could have happened to a self centred, stylistic Cat was when he was forced to lose his cool - twice!

          Everyone, meet Duane Dibbley!
 

The After - Duane Dibbley!
          Piano Key teeth?  Anorak and thermos?  Aaaargh!

          But before I go, I'll just show you a piece of what could have been.  This is fairly rare, and it's from the second attempt at making Red Dwarf into an American sit-com.  Apparently the studio bosses had a problem with the Cat being a cool black guy, so...
 

 
Red Dwarf USA
 
          They made him into a Trill!!!  (That's "him" to the right - she's now known as Jadzia Dax on Star Trek : Deep Space Nine)
 

 OK, go back now... nothing more to see here!